making cat noises will not fix the situation.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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