This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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