mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
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Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.