I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?