This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.