I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
