doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
