whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
should my penis look like a turkey
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize