So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
