You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
