By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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