shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
