He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
