can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
