can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
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Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
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Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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