The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
