Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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