he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize
