idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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