I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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