In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The struggles of a small town man whore
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
