You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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