we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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