this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
