Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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