I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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