No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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