I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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