so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
