Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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