No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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