I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
