No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
