You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
