there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
