He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
