IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
