Define "chronic" masturbator.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
