she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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