never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just want to make out with him forever
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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