Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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