I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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