I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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