I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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