I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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