I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
