you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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