thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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