Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
