I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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