I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
