absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
