I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
