I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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