I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize