I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
